Strong enough for a man
by resident of silent hill
Summary: Will George surrend?Will Elaine survive?Will Kramer learn?Find out and please r&r!


Strong enough for a man  
  
(scene 1)  
Fade in with the view of the outside of a modern looking New York City   
health club in the B.G. In the F.G., cars are driving by. The setting   
changes to the inside of the men's locker room inside the health club.   
GEORGE and JERRY are standing facing thei lockers with towels around   
their waists. Each is rummaging through his locker and getting dressed.   
They both look like they just got out of the shower.  
  
Jerry reaches into his bag and pulls out a stick of deodorant. George   
glances over at the deodorant casually but his eyes quickly widen in   
surprise.  
  
GEORGE  
(startled)  
What's that?  
  
JERRY  
(a little confused)  
What's what?  
  
GEORGE  
(annoyed)  
That, Jerry...What's that?  
(points insistently to the deodorant)  
  
JERRY  
(casually holds up the deodorant about waist  
high and looks at it)  
Oh...this? It's...uh... deodorant.  
  
GEORGE  
(comes close and leans up against Jerry's locker and whispers)  
Oh my God. Jerry,...is that Secret?  
  
JERRY  
(very casual and nonchalant)  
Yeah...I guess it is. Why?  
  
GEORGE  
(voice is still low but now much more persistent)  
Do you mean to tell me that you're using a woman's deodorant?!  
  
JERRY  
(still calm)  
Yeah, so what? I was in a rush this morning and I couldn't   
find my stick so I took this one out of Elaine's gym bag.   
She left it at my apartment yesterday.  
  
GEORGE  
But, Jerry, a woman's deodorant?!  
  
JERRY  
Hey, it actually works better than my regular stuff.  
  
GEORGE  
My god, are you serious.  
(looks suddenly surprised)  
Y'know, I have actually heard that.  
  
JERRY  
(holds the stick up to his face and smiles)  
Hey, it's strong enough for a man.  
  
  
(scene 2)  
Jerry's apartment. Jerry is looking through his refrigerator. The door   
bell buzzes and he goes to answer it with a Snapple in his hand.  
  
JERRY  
Hello.  
  
INTERCOM  
(Elaine's voice)  
It's Elaine.  
  
JERRY  
Come on up.  
  
Just as Jerry takes his finger off of the intercom button and turns   
away from the door, a door slams shut across the hall. Jerry quickly   
spins toward the door and puts his foot against its base just as   
running footsteps can be heard outside. Suddenly, a large thump is   
heard and the door violently opens a little but then stops   
against Jerry's foot. KRAMER screams in surprise and pain. Jerry quickly   
open the door. Kramer stumbles in holding both hand against his forehead.  
  
KRAMER  
(mumbling)  
Jerry...I....I...  
(Kramer gives off a long low moan then spins to face the door  
and collapses backward flat on his back behind the coach. Only   
his feet are visible from behind the coach.)  
  
JERRY  
(Kramer is totally still. Jerry is totally calm and unsurprised)  
Well, I hope you finally learned your lesson. Maybe next  
time you'll knock.  
  
Jerry open his Snapple, and just as he steps over Kramer, Elaine enters   
through the still open door. She looks down at Kramer on the floor and   
then up at Jerry.  
  
ELAINE  
(not alarmed at all)  
Hit the door again?  
  
JERRY  
You think he'd learn after so many times.  
  
ELAINE  
Well, I just came over for my gym bag. I did leave it here, didn't I?  
  
JERRY  
Oh yeah, it's on the couch.  
(as Elaine is walking to the couch)  
Oh, by the way I...  
(thinking) No, I better not say   
anything about the deodorant.  
  
ELAINE  
(zips up her bag)  
What?  
  
JERRY  
(waves his hand)  
Oh, nothing.  
  
ELAINE  
(looks from Jerry to her watch)  
Oh shoot! I'm gonna be late.  
  
JERRY  
Where ya headed?  
  
ELAINE  
(grinning)  
I have to meet somebody at the gym.  
  
JERRY  
(grinning)  
A guy somebody?  
  
ELAINE  
(looks at her watch again)  
I'll have to call ya and tell you about it later.  
(walks toward the door)  
See ya later.  
  
As Elaine is walking out the door, George enters.  
  
ELAINE  
(smiles)  
Hey, George.  
  
GEORGE  
(George looks very deep in thought. He looks up slowly.)  
Hey.  
(George enters and Elaine exits. George glances down at Kramer)  
The door.  
  
JERRY  
(Nods his head.)  
Yup.  
  
George follows Jerry over to the counter. George open the refrigerator   
and pulls out a bottled water. He opens it, takes a drink, and puts it   
down on the counter.  
  
GEORGE  
Y'know...I've been thinking about what we   
were talking about yesterday.  
  
JERRY  
(Turns toward George and smugly folds his arms against  
his chest as he leans back against the counter.)  
Oh really? And what have you decided?  
  
GEORGE  
(Lifts up his glasses and rubs his eyes then shouts in disgust)  
I want to try it, Jerry!! I know it's strong enough for other   
men, but...but I want to see if it's strong enough for me!  
  
JERRY  
(looks totally disgusted)  
Look at yourself! You're an animal! You're pathetic!  
  
GEORGE  
(almost crying, begs)  
Please, Jerry...I'm desperate. I've tried all the other stuff...  
the sticks, the sprays, the antiperspirants, the deodorants,   
but they're just not good enough! It's like I have superhuman  
sweat! Everywhere I go I'm afraid to raise my arms above   
head!!!  
  
JERRY  
Oh so ya want the woman's stick, do ya? Well, you  
see, that's where we run into a bit of a problem.  
(coolly takes a swig of his Snapple)  
  
GEORGE  
(puts his glasses back into place, takes out a hankey  
and wipes his eyes)  
Problem...what problem? I'll do anything, Jerry.  
What...what do I have to do?  
  
JERRY  
(coolly)  
I want to hear you say it.  
  
GEORGE  
Say it?  
  
JERRY  
Yeah, that's right, Georgey boy, I want to hear  
you say it.  
  
GEORGE  
(desperate)  
No, Jerry, anything but that. Don't take away my last  
shred of dignity!  
  
JERRY  
(calm)  
Say it.  
  
GEORGE  
(turns away from Jerry)  
I don't wanna say it.  
  
JERRY  
(shouting)  
Say it!!!  
  
GEORGE  
(shouting)  
I don't want to say it. Please, Jerry,  
I'm begging you!  
  
JERRY  
(still shouting)  
Say it!  
  
GEORGE  
All right...all right. I'll say it. Jerry, I want to...I want to...  
  
JERRY  
Yeeesss?  
  
GEORGE  
I want to...I want to borrow Elaine's...  
(takes a deep breath and then breaks down crying)  
Jerry, I want to borrow Elaine's deodorant!!  
  
JERRY  
(calmly walks toward sofa with his back to George)  
That's too bad. I don't have it.  
  
GEORGE  
(shouting)  
What do you mean you don't have it?! You don't  
have it here or you don't have it at all?  
  
JERRY  
I don't have it at all.  
(casually sits on the couch and puts his feet  
up with a smug grin on his face)  
  
GEORGE  
(walks over to counter that Jerry was leaning against  
while he is wiping his eyes with a handkerchief)  
Then what's this?  
(he picks up a stick of woman's deodorant  
from the counter and holds it up)  
  
JERRY  
(his eyes go wide)  
Oh my god!  
(stands up suddenly, quickly walks over to George  
and takes the stick from his hand)  
This is Elaine's deodorant. I thought I put this  
back in her bag!...Oh my god....that means I   
put my deodorant in her bag!  
  
GEORGE  
(much calmer now but still wiping his red eyes)  
So? What's the worst that could happen?  
  
JERRY  
No, you don't understand. I've been...  
shedding lately.  
  
GEORGE  
(looks up with sudden concern)  
What do you mean by shedding?  
  
(scene 3)  
The scene changes to the women's locker room in the health club. Elaine   
is wearing a towel and facing her locker. She looks like she just got   
out of the shower. She reaches into her bag and pulls out what she   
thinks is her deodorant. She takes the cap off and just before she put   
it on, she notices some black hairs on the deodorant. She looks   
disgusted as she pulls them off. She suddenly notices that the woman   
at the next locker is watching her. She turns to say something, but   
as she does, the woman quickly walks away.  
  
ELAINE  
(in a low mumble)  
Oh no!  
  
(scene 4)  
Jerry's apartment is now empty. Kramer's legs start to twitch. He   
slowly and unsteadily gets up. He is holding his head. From   
Kramer's P.O.V., everything is fuzzy and tilting to one direction   
and then to the other. Kramer leaves the apartment. He crosses the   
hall and walks into his door making a loud bang. He turns to his   
right and walks down the hall to the top of the stairs. The camera   
switches back to the third person P.O.V. as Kramer falls screaming   
down the staircase.  
  
(scene 5)  
Elaine is walking down the street holding her gym bag. She looks   
really pissed off.  
  
ELAINE  
(mumbling)  
I've never been so embarrassed in my life.  
  
The location changes to the street in front of Jerry's apartment   
building. Kramer is wandering around the sidewalk. He looks confused   
and is still holding his head. He bumps into a large man and is   
redirected into the street. One car swerves out of the way, slamming   
on the horn, but the car behind it swerves onto the sidewalk to get   
out of the way. A construction worker who is shoveling broken cement   
dives out of the way but as he does he throws pieces of the cement   
down the street. The camera takes the rock's P.O.V. as it hurtles   
and spins through the air. Several people dive out of the way.   
The rock finally hits Elaine square in the forehead. Just as it hits,   
the view changes. The camera is in the street but has Elaine in C.U.   
(in extreme slow motion)When the rock hits she violently spins   
around throwing her bag in the air. Still in slow motion, the   
camera closely follows the deodorant as it spins through the air.   
The view again changes. Now the camera is positioned on the sidewalk   
looking up nothing. A second later, Elaine slowly falls into frame and   
eventually covers it completely. For a few seconds there is complete   
black, then we slowly fade in to see Elaine sitting up against a   
building. She is holding her head with both of her hands. The is   
a red gash on her forehead. A small crowd has now gathered. A woman's   
shadow passes over Elaine and remains there. The view changes to   
Elaine's P.O.V. The camera slowly tilts up bringing into view the   
woman from the gym standing in front of the bright sun. In her   
hand is the deodorant. She looks down at it, snickers out loud   
at Elaine then spins to face the crowd which has a female majority.   
She holds the stick up for everyone to see. The whole crowd looks   
horrified. The view changes to a shot of the crowd from the sidewalk.   
A hand suddenly shoot into view holding several of Jerry's hairs.   
The crowd's expression turns even worse and they quickly disperse   
in total disgust.  
  
ELAINE  
(C.U.--starts to sob)  
You don't understand...It's not mine...It's not mine!!! (sob)  
(scene 6)  
Jerry and Elaine are at Jerry's apartment. Elaine is sitting on a stool   
at the counter and Jerry is digging through his freezer. He comes   
out with a bag of ice. He hands it to Elaine who puts it on her forehead.  
  
JERRY  
..A big rock huh?  
  
ELAINE  
I'm telling you, I'm lucky to be alive.  
  
JERRY  
Y'know...I'm sorry about the whole deodorant thing.  
  
ELAINE  
Oh...don't worry.  
(sarcastic)  
It only means that I'll be totally ostracized from society.  
(laughs)  
It does seem kinda funny though. I mean who in their right  
mind would use a deodorant specifically designed for the   
opposite sex.  
(laughs hard)  
  
George suddenly slides through the door Kramer style. His face is   
beaming with happiness.  
  
JERRY  
Oh you didn't...Don't tell me you actually bought your own.  
  
GEORGE  
Oh I did...and I've never felt better!  
  
ELAINE  
(confused)  
What are you two talking about?  
  
JERRY  
Well you see...  
(suddenly Jerry's head turns toward the TV and his  
eyes go wide with shock)  
Oh my god. Is that Kramer?  
  
All three walk toward the TV. The view switches to a C.U. of the TV. We   
see Kramer walking on the ledge of a very tall building. The building   
and Kramer flash red and blue from police cars and fire engines. Kramer   
is still holding is head and looks totally bewildered. A voice comes   
from the bottom of the building.  
  
VOICE  
(over a megaphone)  
Don't jump...We're sending someone up who wants to help you!  
  
Role credits.  



End file.
